Gaby will never miss an occasion to remind the world that she is *American* (absolutely not, I am from Chicago, there’s a difference), so in order to acknowledge this genocidal holiday, she obviously had to convince Perrye to do an unhinged Thanksgiving edition.
There’s really no explanation other than the end of the year finally catching up to us, or the current recession is calling for a little fun and delusion.
As always, these answers are based on our Rigorous Academic Process, and you already know we are 100% correct.
Building A Team Based On Thanksgiving Dinner
Turkey: Connor McDavid
Love it or hate it, Turkey is The Staple of Thanksgiving. It’s the essential dish that the rest of the dinner is built around. Even though it’s dry as hell, without it, there’s no thanksgiving dinner - very much like McDavid in the NHL. Who can even remember an NHL season without the superstar? He’s only been in the league for 7 years, but it feels like he’s been around forever.
Mashed Potatoes: Cale Makar
Potatoes are probably the most versatile food out there. Fried, baked, or mashed, they’re pretty good in every form. Cale Makar, the premier two-way defenseman du jour, is also versatile, and there is something about his game for everyone.
Gaby’s note: Also, he’s from Calgary, which feels like a place that would grow a lot of potatoes, idk.
Stuffing: Evgeni Malkin
Despite the big turkey on the table, the main character of the Thanksgiving dinner is the stuffing. It’s often where traditions are found, and each family has their own idea about what stuffing should be. However, a bland one doesn’t cut it; it needs to have a certain - je ne sais quoi - for it to be a complete success. For the past couple of days, we watched Evgeni Malkin celebrate his 1000th game, giving us all the theatrics only he could along the way, just like stuffing would at dinner.
Gravy: The Edmonton Oilers
Gravy is traditionally made from the pan drippings of the turkey. Much like gravy, the Oilers continue to be totally dependent on Connor McDavid (and Leon Draisaitl on occasion). Let the boy rest!!
Mac and Cheese: Brock Boeser
Listen, even lactose-intolerant people are willing to risk it all for mac and cheese. Like Brock Boeser, mac and cheese is pretty universally loved, and people hate when you mess with their recipe (or him).
Cornbread: The New Jersey Devils
Cornbread is a controversial thanksgiving dinner staple that people either love or think is overrated.
Even here at THWL, we had debates on this side dish. Gaby is a fan, and Perrye is the total opposite. Perrye’s note: That thing shouldn’t be called bread at all. Anyway, the only cornbread I claimed and respected is the former contestant of RuPaul’s Drag Race, Kornbread “The Snack” Jeté.
For that reason, the New Jersey Devils, led by the Hockey Tiktok’s fav bromance in Jack Hughes & Hischier, are pretty similar to cornbread. Although they have tied the franchise record for the most wins in a row (13), there are still arguments about their talent. Depending on who you ask, some might say good, others overrated.
Not for us, though; we’re excited to see what’s next with this team full of youngsters.
However, we want to make it clear that we don’t claim or associate in any way with their fan base.
Pumpkin Pie: Pierre-Luc Dubois
No feast is complete without pumpkin pie, the iconic Thanksgiving dessert that appears once a year but is supposedly the show’s star. However, the way we see it if it's there, sure, we’ll eat it. If it’s not, you’re not missing anything. Very much is true for the Winnipeg Jets center as well (sorry)(kind of, lol).
As for the cranberry sauce, we will not acknowledge this atrocity.
Dream Guest Rotation at Thanksgiving Dinner
This is a family-friendly newsletter, so yeah.
The ones who are invited everywhere: Anthony Duclair & Nazem Kadri.
Listen, y’all know who we are. They’re permanent fixtures on any of our guest lists.
The one who will create chaos: Teuvo Teravainen
As quiet and reserved as he may seem, every off-ice Teuvo video we have seen gives us chaos. He would definitely be the one discreetly starting some new family beef by saying something out of pocket as a joke that ends up with the whole family arguing. Later, nobody will even know how it started.
The one with who you’ll have good conversations with: Chris Kreider
Perrye asked Gaby, and her only reply was he’s hot by her weird-ass standards, and he reads, but Perrye hasn’t found a piece of evidence about his literary pursuits since 2016.
The One Gaby would spend the entire time arguing with: Brad Marchand
Listen, as hard as I’ve tried; I can’t hate on Brad Marchand. He’s a hater, just like us! We can appreciate someone who can be funny and give as good as he takes. Also, he’s a Taurus, and there’s nothing more fun than trying to annoy a Taurus.
The one who changes the family recipe and incurs the wrath of everyone: Nathan MacKinnon
He decided that mac and cheese shouldn't have mac or cheese because it’s unhealthy, and now everybody is mad. Grandma doesn’t even want to talk to him. He’s been relegated to bringing the ice next year, smh.
The one who does the prayer that goes on too long: Matt Duchene.
Even the church-going aunties look a little panicked. God forbid he pulls out the guitar.
The one who comes to grab a plate and leaves: Ryan Reaves
Do you know that one person who comes after the prayer and right in time for the food? You know you’re only gonna see him for maybe 45 minutes because he got invited to everybody else’s function too. He’ll sit down, ask thoughtful and somehow very detailed questions about your life, drop a couple of jokes, and then tell you he has to head out. He already has his invite to the next holiday.
In Our Gratitude Era
One thing that we are thankful for in our hockey journey
Gaby: The people in the sport who’ve given us the opportunities and trust to work on projects that we’re interested in.
Perrye: The friends and community that we made along the way
One thing that we are thankful for in our personal lives
Gaby: Building resilience and seeing my baby sister thrive in her first year of university.
Perrye: We’re currently in a significant housing crisis in Canada which I could rant about forever. Anywho, now more than ever, I’m thankful to have a roof over my head.
Thanksgiving leftovers
Lastly, we don’t recommend eating your Thanksgiving leftovers more than three days after, but if you need suggestions on how to spice up your leftovers, here are a few ideas for you.
https://www.bonappetit.com/gallery/leftover-turkey-recipes
https://www.delish.com/cooking/recipe-ideas/g3058/7-genius-ways-to-use-thanksgiving-leftovers/
Shoutout to the homie, Chanel. Happy Birthday!!
With Love,
Gaby and Perrye