This article has been languishing in our drafts folder since January. However, with the upcoming season right around the corner, we decided to touch on a topic we often ponder: How can you be a hockey fan without slowly losing your mind?
If you’re a hockey fan with even the slightest social consciousness, separating the sport from its culture is challenging. Things have been bad, and we know we’re not the only ones constantly making that Larry David face when thinking about the sport.
Nonetheless, fandom is personal, and sports can be essential in social development and community building. So, here are some tips from yours truly.
Focus on the Community You’ve Built
I - Gaby - recently read a book called Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport that describes a philosophy about purposefully engaging with technology. One of the things that stood out most to me was the distinction between conversation and connection. Newport distinguishes the two by defining conversation as a more proactive endeavor only achieved through face-to-face connections. In contrast, connection is everything that is non-interactive or textual, like chats, texts, etc. Conversation - whether face-to-face, over Facetime, or even a call - is the meaningful practice in our life that allows us to build strong social connections. In this philosophy, connections only serve a logistical role in setting up those conversations.
While parts of the book came off as a little woo-woo, this section rang true. Some of my most meaningful friendships as an adult have come through internet connections, but fostering them outside of social media has given them that importance.
Most notably, To Hockey, With Love was born from a shared note where we would dump topics to discuss the next time we talked. Although our text threads are long and across a few social media apps, our regular FaceTimes play the most important part in maintaining our professional relationships and friendships.
The advice? Set up a call with that person you’ve been DM’ing for ages. And if it doesn’t work out, do you really want a person like that in your life anyway?
Find a balance between outrage and enjoyment.
Hockey tends to be reactive instead of proactive, so activism often feels like an integral part of the hockey fan experience. It’s not hyperbolic to say that most of the changes we’ve seen in the sport result from fan involvement. However, we are the first to admit that sometimes, you don’t wanna care.
A crucial part of hockey fandom is understanding that it’s okay and normal to enjoy the sport in its most surface-level form as a source of entertainment. It doesn’t make you a bad person or lack critical thinking skills. But, if you’re mad, all the time, about everything, but you’re only tweeting about it, is it particularly productive?
Go Outside And Touch Grass
Kidding!... Kind of.
When we started THWL, we didn’t expect to jump into more hockey projects so quickly. It did not take long for us to discover how exhausting it was to engage with hockey on such a micro-level. The burnout hit us fast and hard, and it still feels like we’re constantly trying to catch up.
However, because we like seeing things through, we had to figure out how to come back from that. Focusing on our other hobbies (e.g. Barre for Perrye and Gardening for Gaby) has been instrumental in giving us the capacity to come back and write, especially when it comes to complex subjects. For me (Gaby), it also rekindled my love for reading fiction because there is no need to doomscroll, and if I’m bored, I can reach for my Kindle.
Engaging with hockey content on social media does nothing to make us better writers or fans. Part of the desire to be hyperaware of what was going on was because, you know, we write about hockey. However, we’ve realized that even when we need to step away, there isn’t much we skip out on. We both have people whose work we read and accounts we check to see what’s happening around the league.
It turns out there isn’t a need for all that extra noise, so bye-bye to Hockey Twitter during the off-season.
It’s Okay to Walk Away
We think about this one a lot, honestly.
As most of you know by now, I - Perrye - restarted to consume hockey after a long break. In 2016, I realized that it wasn’t bringing me joy as it used to, so I decided to leave. When I returned to the fandom, I re-explored aspects of the sports that made me happy but also implemented some boundaries. However, two years after my “comeback,” I discussed in my recent birthday issue that I was starting to fall out of love.
Excerpt from the article: Happy Birthday to THE Summer Baby!
Redefine my definition of joy for this sport - Over the past year, I experienced multiple situations that made me feel disrespected and question my place in this space. It’s easy to lose sight of what makes hockey fun with the current state of the sport and the fact that I’ve been actively working in this space for almost two years. I want to continue bringing more projects to life, but I need to ensure it’s never at the expense of myself and what makes me happy.
We won’t lie and say that being in this space hasn’t made us cry out of frustration (mostly Gaby, aka my water signs girlie) more than once to the point of considering moving on to other (and better) things.
But since you’re reading this, we clearly decided otherwise. We decided to do our variation of Marie Kondo’s rule. If It doesn’t bring us peace, we won’t give it our time, energy, or attention. And if that’s not enough, then leaving is always an option.
All that to say, make sure your fandom brings you joy. It’s always better to protect your energy by leaving than staying and being miserable.
Because as I love to say, “You know what it never was? That serious!”
Ultimately, you decide how you want to experience your fandom. These are our rules, so take what resonates. Listen to us or don’t. It’s fine!
As for us, we will be practicing what we’re preaching, so we will see y’all in two weeks with a new issue.
Much love,
Gaby & Perrye
This is so good and helpful in a time where the seedy underbelly of sport exposes itself on an almost daily basis. I love sports and constantly feel the dissonance of loving something that enables so much toxic behavior. Being conscious of the parts I love and also ready to hold athletes to a decent standard of humanity can be exhausting, but I think worth it.