Crypto-Current Thoughts
Ya Other Thoughts Weekly Roundup
Happy Monday! We hope that y’all got some rest this weekend. We’re still getting our lives together and counting down the days until our semesters are over, but we’re definitely feeling less “it’s mental illness, luv” about it all. Did a lot happen this week? We don’t know, but here’s what we’re talking about.
Guy « Démon Blond » Lafleur, 1951-2022
The Montreal Canadiens announced on Friday, April 22nd, that the legendary Habs player Guy Lafleur, age 70, passed. Guy Lafleur meant so much to all of us, even to people who aren't immersed in hockey. Known beyond his prowess on the ice, he will be honored in a national funeral on May 3rd.
The Canadiens created an online book of condolences inviting people to share their memories of the icon.
Mr. Lafleur will forever stay in our collective memory. #GuyGuyGuy
Eugene Melnyk
We forgot to write about this last week, but we thought it still deserved to be mentioned this week because, holy shit. For folks who missed it, Katie Strang at the Athletic released an article on the so-called ~complicated~ legacy of Eugene Melnyk, former owner of the Ottawa Senators. Personally, we don’t think there’s anything particularly complicated about his legacy; he was a nasty dude who did a good thing here or there - probably out of some karmic worry. In his case, the bad outweighed the good and a good reminder that your legacy will outlast you.
There were a lot of scandalous bits in the story, but the two that stood out more were the sabotage of his former employee’s immigration and the abuse he inflicted on a female Sens staffer.
“The Greatest Invention In Humanity”
Following the release of his article and the expected ratio via Twitter, sports writer Chris Johnston had one of the hottest takes we’ve seen in hockey so far this season. After a Twitter user expressed mild criticism of cryptocurrency, Mr. Johnston went out of his way to reply and ask the said user if they had spent even ten minutes researching “the most important development in human history.”
Cue *collective blinks of marginalized confusion.* Is it a joke? Maybe? We don’t know, but we sure hope so. If it isn’t, we’d argue that the developments in modern medicine and technology that allowed Mr. Johnston to get to his big age and get on the internet to share said opinion are probably more important.Anyway, here’s a list of things that have benefited society more than Bitcoin:
Beyoncé’s entire discography
“Squatty Pottys” aka poop benches
Boko Imama Scores His First NHL Goal + The Coyotes Have Lost Their Damn Minds
Probably the only highlight of the Coyotes’ season, Bokondji Imama scored his first NHL goal in his second appearance with the team. After a rough season for him in the AHL, a great way to end the year. He’s due for a contract, and we hope to see him in the big league again next season.
Also, if we were in charge, we would re-sign him to justify the insane price points for the next season’s tickets. Fourteen thousand dollars for glass side seats? In a 5,000-person college hockey stadium? In this economy?
Leah Hextall vs Tim Peel vs Being Bad at Your Job
Nepotism baby extraordinaire Leah Hextall got caught up in a Twitter storm this past week after asking Wayne Simmonds if he was “soft” for not fighting Tampa Bay’s Pat Maroon. She made the mistake of saying that they had fought before, which Simmonds had to correct and note they actually hadn’t. Tim Peel - who was fired in 2021 after getting caught on a hot mic setting up a “make-up” call - decided to have an opinion on the incident by telling Leah to “do her homework.” It takes an astonishing lack of self-awareness to tell someone else they’re doing a bad job.
I will take a lot of heat for this but I am a big boy. Leah Hextall doesn’t even know they have not fought before. Asking Wayne Simmons’s if he is soft might be one of the most ridiculous questions I have ever heard. Do your homework. @leahhextall #leafs https://t.co/zxsw26rRfQPat Maroon - Wayne Simmonds beef continues. 👀 Simmonds response to Maroon calling him soft: "We've never dropped the gloves. He's never obliged me before so I don't think I'm the one that's soft." https://t.co/cpiMS14iRM
Sportsnet @SportsnetWhen it comes to Hextall, we’re just gonna say that she is too grown to be throwing around words that have misogynist and homophobic undertones. Pat Maroon may have said that, but there was no need to reiterate it. Especially with the credentials that Simmonds has.
Quite brazen on both sides if you ask us.
People also got mad at Gaby for saying no one would remember Pat Maroon after he retires, and she would just like to tell you all that not only will he not be remembered, he also looks like a bully from a John Hughes movie.
“You know you that bitch when you cause all this conversation” Tim Stützle Probably
A couple of weeks ago, Brendan Gallagher - who we routinely forget about - made the most dramatic comments about how Tim Stützle was a diver and even accused him of faking an injury.
A few days later, a Seattle Kraken player - #TeamInclusion - was caught calling Tim Stützle a p*ssy on camera and told him to "go dive again."
Habs and Leafs' fan base members are now spending a lot of time "ridiculing" him whenever their teams play the Sens. The list goes on.
In our opinion, people's comments or insults towards Stützle are quite similar to Jay Beagle's and Tyler Nash's antics against Trevor Zegras.
This is just a temper tantrum out of jealousy of talent, but in this case, you add in a dash of xenophobia! He's definitely a star in the making; it's just unfortunate that his stardom is happening in Ottawa!
While we're talking about the Senators, we would like to shout out the return of a hockey Twitter menace after our own hearts @erikssonsburner!
Zdeno Chara Punching Various Hurricanes
There aren’t really other thoughts on here other than Zdeno Chara causes visceral fear in Gaby, and getting mildly punched by him seems like a vaguely traumatic experience.
This was also when Perrye discovers that Big Z hasn’t retired yet and Max Domi has been traded to the Canes during the trade deadline.
Perrye’s conspiracy theory but supported by Gaby’s antics to get banned by Nova Scotia (spiritually)
The Avs have been tanking their last games because they don’t want to win the cursed Presidents’ trophy (again). Since Nathan MacKinnon is super superstitious and would definitely like to win a cup, he is probably the one who suggested it to the team.
He probably realized that getting on a chickpeas pasta diet isn’t enough for a championship.
Note from Gaby: Nova Scotia, please don’t ban me yet. I haven’t even gotten a chance to make fun of the Sidney Crosby museum yet :(
In case you missed our last issue:
Wayne Simmonds Scarborough Legend Forever,
Gaby and Perrye